Blood Buckets

Step into the propeller
Take a bath with a plugged-in television set
Touch the gorilla's genitalia
Ride your bike through a plate-glass window

And the blood comes down
in buckets
And the blood comes down
in crimson sheets
And the blood comes down
like skinned dogs and cats
And the blood comes down
And we laugh

Jump into a woodchipper
Light up a fatty sitting on a powder keg
Have a picnic with the kids on the train tracks
Play chicken with a speeding semi

And the blood comes down...

Do a triple Lindy into a scrap heap, moron

And the blood comes down...


Invisible Bugs

When I was a little kid
I played with invisible bugs at The Millionaire's house

Five of them, all different shapes
they were my friends

They thought it was cute, or perhaps a little nuts
Then the shit hit the fan

What the hell was going on?
Invisible bugs

Granny barfed, dentures hit the sidewalk
I thought it was a wiener

What the hell was going on?
Invisible bugs


Me Love

I gotta get t'that bottle!

Now here's th' deal...

I'm not real smart
I got a go-funny eye
An' go-funny teeth
An' a go-funny ball bat

Me love, ride bike
Me love, hiding in weeds
Me love, looking at bird
Me love, pull, pull, pull

I'm gonna turn myself inside out
Like a slug in salt
If you need me just gimme a call
But you must leave - I'll hurt you

I'm not good lookin'
I got go-funny hair
An' go-funny feet
An' a go funny gun

Me love...

Enter a screaming Scotsman

I'm gonna go to a special place
In the back of my skull
If you want me, you can just knock

Well, I'm not exactly what you call responsible
I gotta go-funny bottle
An' a go-funny car
An' a go-funny stinkbomb

Me love...


Dead Man

Moving air with a miked-up Boogie amp
Glowing white with an ultraviolet lamp
Hard-swinging, but feeling like a champ
I'm heading up Evel Knievel's ramp

I'm a Dead Man now

Lookin' sweet in a suit of feathers and sticky tar
So busted, with the neighbor's head in a jar
Halloween - eating a razor blade candy bar
Going off a cliff in Herman Munster's coffin car

I'm a Dead Man now

I'm Ok
I'm alright
Nothing's wrong
Nothing's right - at all

So screwed, but you know me: I'm not complaining
Feeling righteous, like a velvet Elvis painting
Brain surgery with no formal training
Billy Joel - motorcycling while it's raining

I'm a Dead Man now

Fucking dead, dead as a door nail


Sleep (insomnia)

Someone sanded my eyes
My joints have rusted in place
I'm wearing a 40 lb. helmet of Jello
With paranoid wool on my face

I haven't slept for days
It's strange in so many ways

I'm afraid I'll never sleep again

I just want to sleep

I don't know how this began
A black light shines through my mind
I see the world in a fluorescent grayscale
Can't seem to make my thoughts bind

No use in counting sheep
They just grow sabretooth teeth

I can feel my mind just peeling away

I just want to sleep
Please just let me sleep


Make a Mess (Move On)

Take all that you want
Take all you want then take more

Make a mess, move on

Burn it all down
Burn it all down then leave

Make a mess, move on



I'm not human, I'm a man; I don't pretend to have a plan
Leave your native land, find me if you can
Your essence is erased, your soul has been replaced
A man without a face, gone without a trace

Rise, Rise, Rise, my minions
Rise, Rise, Rise, my Lifeless

Try to erase the horrible taste
Leading you away, waste entire days
Forget about mankind, leave your skin behind
Eventually you'll find you can live without a mind

Claw your way out of the ground and open your eyes, and RISE!


Millions aghast, skull is spinning fast
Clothes smell like gas in a coffin made of glass
Pitch, roll, & yaw, Samuel fucking Peckinpah
Wash away the law with a urine coup de grace

Step out of the box and open your eyes, and RISE!!!


Dr. Kendrick's Freak Boutique

Wanna hump?
One lump or two?
Gotta stump?
We can build you a leg with a special shoe

Need a friend - a humanoid pet?
An incredible deal!
Pretend, just for a minute
That this is real

Anything you want
Anything you need

Dr. Kendrick's made-to-order custom freak boutique

Monkey girl is a red-hot item
Give 'er to a friend but watch she don't bite 'im
Alligator boys are a real rough bunch
Have a nosy neighbor-lady over for lunch
The human slug, he's a lazy boy
Jack the Rabbit, a curious toy

Anything you want
Anything you need
Everything you want
Everything you need, baby

Dr. Kendrick's made-to-order custom freak boutique

I work my magic and out come the corkscrews
A lump you'd find in a meaty pork stew
The Geek Machine is a drugged up harem
The freaks unleashed, jacked up to scare 'em

Spread th' love...


Mr. Stinky

It came on a breeze from the other room
A smell as bad as a Limburger perfume
A stench awash in tartar and the gasses of decay
It's buckling my knees, but I cannot turn away

It smells so strange

So overwhelmed by a stench I can't explain
My nose on fire, I'm passing out now
I'll just hold my breath forever; stop the pain

Behold! Those are toenails he skates upon!
Snowdrifts of dandruff bring to mind Saskatchewan
The chimes I hear them clunking as they dangle from his hole
Hygiene nevermore, it's a fungus of his soul

We pay the toll

So overwhelmed by bacteria and slime
Never bathing, never clean



Make way

I'm a black belt multi-instrumental mastermind, the faster kind
Of motherfuckin' wheelie-poppin' shit-smokin' freaks
Unique, with the magic mystique of the alpha techno caveman geek
Turds, I thin the herd of the bullies & tricksters to which it occurred
To fight me, smite me, you're gonna see lightning slammin' down
Look out, here come's the King of the Carnies plowing into your sweet little town

Make way

I am the pan, made in Japan
Super-fucking-sonic Superman
I am the pan, I am the pan, I am the pan

I'm just dying to bust up the room
To shake up this mummy-lovin' shithole tomb
Here's a joke from a comedy set
That nobody in their right mind's gonna forget
That life is a steep-ass road
That ends with a cliff up above a commode
So throw your money down, money down
And party down, party down
Save a table for The Ultimate Corpse
And light up the city with a flammable clown

Make way

I part the sea of souls, unwashed mass out of control
Here's a gift, a nugget of advice
Stand back or you might get hit with a pie
I'm Swayze, goin' for the lift with an undead clown weighin' 300 lbs.
So take one giant step back, the people in the front can't breath! Pittsburgh!!!

Make way


Lizard Brain

We like to think that we're above it all
Convinced ourselves that we're somehow divine
Yet given a whiff of the proper pheromones
We're locking antlers or spawning in a stream

It's so clear if you step away from it: we're sensless hairless chimps
That's OK as long as we admit to it - whores will always need pimps

Eat, fuck, fight - driven by your lizard brain

All the things we're most in love with in ourselves
Serve the motives of our animal instincts
Freud really wasn't all that far off the mark
Except in thinking that anyone can be cured

Just give in, 'cause there's no use fighting it
Shanghai-ed by your genes
Don't pretend, don't claim that you're rational
Who cares what anything means?

Transplanted into the body of Technology-Ape
A recipie for disaster, he'll soon self-destruct
Then we're all fucked!


The Shrimping Spine, Pts. 1-5

There's a whistling sound
Of a speeding fist
A painful flash
You pissed me off

Your ugly face gives way
To my busted hand
But I can't stop
'Cause it feels so damn' neat

Knuckle-bag splash brain
Hairy blood all thick
There's no one here
To help your sorry ass now

My shoulder pounds concrete
Thumping meat sounds cool
My arm's completely gone
But then so is your head

You're a drying stain
But there's no flies
They get shooed away
By my shrimping spine